Remembering my mother's cooking
Whenever I make soup, it would be the soups my mother used to boil for us, from the time we were little kids. They are the best soups ever and even today, my friends and family enjoy the same soups. Alhamdulillah today we know the chicken and all meat must be halal.
Nostaligia about the soups we used to have
Just imagine the wonderful fragrance of old cucumber soup or lotus root soup boiled with red dates, some octupus tentacles and kampung chicken. Or winter melon soup or even the lowly but actually highly nutritious chicken potato, onion and carrot soup, aka ABC soup. Chicken with groundnuts, watercress or spinach soup with friend fish or salted vegetable tofu soup with duck or chicken, lightly spiced with dried chillies and dry tamarind .Also homemade fishball , suhoon/bean vermicelli and mustard greens or Tientsin cabbage soup with chicken and carrots. Oh so nostalgic and so nutritious.
Halal chicken?
After I was married I remember telling my mom to buy halal chicken only. Actually halal food was not emphasised long ago because people presume new Muslims know all about that. Yes they may know but they did not know the importance of eating only halal foods. I did not even know halal merely means permissable and haram is something that is forbidden. It sounded so very foreign and intimidating at that time. Very vague understanding but we plodded along anyway.
A chicken is a chicken. Why must it be Halal now?
My mother, many years ago, asked me "Why is it that you now say you can only eat halal chicken? You had been eating the normal chicken for years ever since you were young. What must you insist?" To put it mildly. Anyway Alhamdulillah, she obliged me though she was unhappy about it. It was a hassle to order halal chicken at that time.. I would worry about her source and I made the vegetable seller who came to the house to give me the name of his chicken supplier. He supplied me a Muslim name and number. I found buying chicken from the supermarket and Ayamas solved the problem..
I could not explain to convince my mother why halal was best. I did not know the wisdom and rationale as well as the benefits of eating halal. I simply did not have enough of the right knowledge at that time.
Horror stories of torture and doubts
Until I heard the grumblings about how chicken were tortured, treated and slaughtered by some mass production facilities. That put me off chicken for a while.
Liquor battles
I had to battle about the wine in the fish and prawns and the brandy in the fruit cake. Actually earlier on I too did not realise about this due importance to carelessness, ignorance or mere indifference. I did not want a full battle in the kitchen so I used to hide the Chinese wine and the brandy, hoping my mother would not remember. I also hid all the expensive brandies my father received as presents from his company.
Struggling in the dark
Many new reverts do not know everything. When they hear of something, they may obey immediately or they may have a time lapse, trying to adjust and realign themselves. So many things to adjust... sometimes its very overwhelming. They need friendship, support and encourage. They need knowledge.
Sometimes we had to go about trying to make our family get used to our way of life without disruptting too much of theirs. We did not know the right way to deal with some sensitive issues. That takes time.
Revert and Converts go together
It is right to say we reverted. Also right to say we reverted and converted. Why? Because we really had to change almost everything we used to think and did and said. From the head to the toe, from the way we ate to the way we dressed. To they way we conducted ourselves, our speech, our thoughts and our source of income. Islam is so complete and thorough. A complete way of life, suitable for all times, until the end of the world. Alhamdulillah.
Misconceptions of Islam caused by Muslims
The believers are not perfect so we sometimes create wrong impressions that make people misunderstand Islam. That is why dawah and islah ( spreading message of Islam) is a way of life for us. Spread the word and help others to find the way to the straight path.
In the past it was not easy to find books published in the language we could understand. It was not easy to find an English translation of Al Quran. Not easy to find sunnah books or hadiths in English. Or it was becasue we did not know where to find them. Actually I had no idea about sunnah, hadiths and all the terminology which sounded Greek, well actually Arab.
Islam is the best Way of Life
Islam is perfect because it is specially chosen for
believers by the Creator. It is available to anyone who believes in that
God is One and we believe in all the prophets and Prophet Muhammade is
the seal of all the prophets. Adam, Abraham, Noah, Moses, Jacob,
Jonah, Joseph and Isa, his name being distorted to become Jesus. All
are prophets of Islam and we love and believe in all of them.
My first translation of Al Quran
My first translation of Al Quran was by Marmaduke Pickthall, an English gentleman. I furtively bought the book and read it quietly. My interest was a well kept secret. People may officially embrace Islam just to be able to marry a Muslim. I had to find a Muslim to marry just to become a Muslim.
Hard to tell Parents I wanted to be Muslim
Funny, isn't it? Just the exact opposite. You see, I was not a very brave girl where my parents were concerned. We were very close and I loved my mother very much. I did not want to upset her and I could not bear to imagine the unhappy scene if I told her I decided to be Muslim. She was quite strong willed and I could not bear to fight with her. Did not know how my father would have taken it as he used to spoil me and I did not want to face his anger or disappointment..
Muslim in name only
Some people who converted did not mind accepting Islam officially. Officially only. Some never bothered much because the man or woman they married was only Muslim in name. Many did not pray or eat pure halal food. Many Muslims only fasted and became very religious only in Ramadan. They then dressed themselves up very beautifully in expensive new clothes to pray at the masjid on day of Eid or Hari Raya, Then they go home to eat and enjoy themselves..
Ignorance is Loss
Whether the spirit of Ramadan was remembered or carried on or abandoned, only Allah knows. Many reverts were like that too. Because they only followed their new Muslim families and thought that was how Muslims live their lives. I had been like that too initially while trying to seek the right knowledge. It was not easy and very trying at times. I think with regret the many times I failed to take best advantage of Allah's generosity and offer for rewards and forgveness. Ignorance is a poor excuse but we learn from our mistakes.
So easier to learn about Islam today
Today many reverts have the great advantage of accessing accurate information on Islam from many sources. There are so many good books published in various languages. Tapes, cds, youtube, seminars, talks, workshops and conventions. Such things were unheard of during the time of earlier converts.
Do not leave our families and loved ones behind
It is never too late and all reverts have to work hard and pray hard to dawah their non Muslim family members. They may be skeptical, angry with us, hurt us or hate us. We do not stop loving them.
Improve ourselves in hope our duaas will be answered
This is something we must never give up and we have to purify ourselves all the time to be closer to Allah. How do we expect our duaas/supplications to be answered if we keep on disobeying Allah? We may not be perfect and we will continue to sin and make silly mistakes. But repent sincerely and never stop believing and hoping that Islam will enter the hearts of our parents and our families.
Only Allah can Guide and Forgive
We cannot change what Allah has predestined for us but he can change whatever He wishes. So we have to strive and make it our continuous struggle to invite our loved ones to the straight path that leads to Jannah/Paradise.Even if we loved our husband or wife very much, blood is thicker than water. We may even change our husbands or increase our wives through divorce or remarriage but we must remain loyal to our parents and love our children and care for relatives..
What happened to my parents? I may write a little about that soon, Insha Allah.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Childhood joys, riots and pets
Did many of you have any pets in childhood?
Did many children grow up with chicken, duck, fish, birds, mice, rabbits, ants, dogs and cats in the home? I am thankful to have experienced all these, of course not all at the same time. I believe it is very good therapy for every adult and child to have a pet. Loving and caring for the pet not only instills responsibility and caring but also helps relax us after a long day . Children especially will benefit most.
During childhood
Perhaps still in my early primary school years, 7 or 8, I remembered my mom and the cook kept around 10 ducks. We lived by the riverside and mom asked the carpenter to build a large elevated duck home on stilts at the end of the backlane, next to the river. It was a quiet and private area, with lush bushes and trees.
The cook was in charge of feeding them and at nightfall, she would call out "dee dee dee dee" (I have no idea why, perhaps just duck talk). All the ducks would return from their foraging or play and line up. When the cook opened the wooden door of their shed, they would waddle up the plank leading up to their home one by one.
Food not Toys
We had no idea that the chicken and ducks were destined to end up in the cooking pot. I refused to eat any of them and got real upset when I knew one of them was going to meets its grisly end.
Perhaps I had eaten some, but without knowing.
Budgerigars
Besides large gold fish and oscar tanks on the ground, my brother had a very large budgerigar cage in the garden. It was quite an experience because we saw and learnt how the the tiny eggs hatched and we ended with so many baby birds. They multiplied and they were beautiful.
They wanted so much to flap their wings and soar, to really stretch their wings. Birds are not meant to be locked up to be admired for our pleasure. One day we released them all.
Singing Merboks
My father somehow got the idea of rearing merboks, the small brownish plain looking birds. They look so ordinary but when they start to warble, they became beautiful song birds. He would put them up on high poles and feed them, water them daily. It provided him some sense of interaction, not with us but with birds. Alhamdulillah he gave up this hobby. Sometimes we forgot all the animals are Allah's creation. They too need to be free .
Sunning birds during curfew
I seem to always recall the riots of May whenever I remember the merboks and playing badminton. The incidents may seem very unrelated but they all happened at the same time and left an impact in my mind.
I still remember it was a few days after May 13, 1969 when we were still playing badminton and hanging birds on poles outside the home during the curfew. One day a man on a motorcycle identified himself as a police detective and ordered us to stay in our homes. He was shocked to see us all in the garden oblivious to the massive riots in the country.
Hilltop Home
We lived right on top of a hill, a small Chinese community of about less than 40 people and all along the way towards the hill top were Malay kampung houses interspersed with a few Chinese homes. The road was Hillview Road, very steep and narrow.
Sweet and wormy cikus
We had a ciku tree in the backyard. Someone told us not to climb the ciku tree to get the fruits. The ciku may be nutritious and certainly succulent and sweet when fresh from the tree. We were told that there a many worms in the fruit. True enough we found fresh wrigglies when we cut the fruit open.
Perhaps that's because even worms know good healthy food and they will avoid those with pesticides. Its us humans who sometimes do not know the difference or do not bother.
A very interesting place to live and many events occurred during our stay. Those incidents deserve a separate entry.
Gangster's Pledge of Honour
I do not know how true, but we were all told that there was no killing and violence in Setapak and Gombak because of a pact between the triads. Gangsters in Gombak made a deal with the Chinese triad not to disturb or harm each other. They probably gave out news of their pact to protect each other. Maybe this was a romaticised version of the agreement but I would like to remember it this way. At least some act of humanity in a crazy time.
Suspicion and Bad Feelings
Worse things happened but I do not want to mention this. Malaysians were peaceful loving people but many became divided, suspicious of each other and angry because of what happened.
Kampung Baru
After a while most of the Chinese community left because of a lot of racial tension. Because of ignorance people began to equate Malay with Islam.
In the end this suspicion and distrust became a very serious disease. It grew and grew and people probably got more afraid because of stories and rumours.
Human Problem
Never judge people by the colour of their skin, their race and their name. Some Chinese were loan sharks, gangsters and robbers 1n 1969 and there are still many Chinese who do the same until today. Some of these scavengers and scum of society never go away. As long as there is corruption, there is evil and vice. These are human problems not race or religion.
Many of my late mother's relatives were from Kampung Baru. They stayed there since they were young. It was home to them and they owned the land. Suddenly they felt unsafe and unwelcome.
Allah knows and sees all.
This riot shattered lives and dreams of innocent people. We cannot point fingers at anyone since we were not there. Neither did we see it with our own eyes. But some details were recorded by historians.
All I know is probably some few people could have benefitted hugely by this cruel chain of events and it scarred our beautiful country for life. I remember watching Tengku Abdul Rahman giving his resignation speech on tv. We were feeling sad to lose him as our much beloved PM. He was a people's PM. We are still trying to repair the damage after 40 years.
Hope for Healing
May Allah heal the hearts and wounds of all our fellowmen and let us live in harmony again, to focus our energy and our lives towards serving Him, in the hope of His good pleasure and the promise of paradise.
Did many children grow up with chicken, duck, fish, birds, mice, rabbits, ants, dogs and cats in the home? I am thankful to have experienced all these, of course not all at the same time. I believe it is very good therapy for every adult and child to have a pet. Loving and caring for the pet not only instills responsibility and caring but also helps relax us after a long day . Children especially will benefit most.
During childhood
Perhaps still in my early primary school years, 7 or 8, I remembered my mom and the cook kept around 10 ducks. We lived by the riverside and mom asked the carpenter to build a large elevated duck home on stilts at the end of the backlane, next to the river. It was a quiet and private area, with lush bushes and trees.
The cook was in charge of feeding them and at nightfall, she would call out "dee dee dee dee" (I have no idea why, perhaps just duck talk). All the ducks would return from their foraging or play and line up. When the cook opened the wooden door of their shed, they would waddle up the plank leading up to their home one by one.
Food not Toys
We had no idea that the chicken and ducks were destined to end up in the cooking pot. I refused to eat any of them and got real upset when I knew one of them was going to meets its grisly end.
Perhaps I had eaten some, but without knowing.
Budgerigars
Besides large gold fish and oscar tanks on the ground, my brother had a very large budgerigar cage in the garden. It was quite an experience because we saw and learnt how the the tiny eggs hatched and we ended with so many baby birds. They multiplied and they were beautiful.
They wanted so much to flap their wings and soar, to really stretch their wings. Birds are not meant to be locked up to be admired for our pleasure. One day we released them all.
Singing Merboks
My father somehow got the idea of rearing merboks, the small brownish plain looking birds. They look so ordinary but when they start to warble, they became beautiful song birds. He would put them up on high poles and feed them, water them daily. It provided him some sense of interaction, not with us but with birds. Alhamdulillah he gave up this hobby. Sometimes we forgot all the animals are Allah's creation. They too need to be free .
Sunning birds during curfew
I seem to always recall the riots of May whenever I remember the merboks and playing badminton. The incidents may seem very unrelated but they all happened at the same time and left an impact in my mind.
I still remember it was a few days after May 13, 1969 when we were still playing badminton and hanging birds on poles outside the home during the curfew. One day a man on a motorcycle identified himself as a police detective and ordered us to stay in our homes. He was shocked to see us all in the garden oblivious to the massive riots in the country.
Hilltop Home
We lived right on top of a hill, a small Chinese community of about less than 40 people and all along the way towards the hill top were Malay kampung houses interspersed with a few Chinese homes. The road was Hillview Road, very steep and narrow.
Sweet and wormy cikus
We had a ciku tree in the backyard. Someone told us not to climb the ciku tree to get the fruits. The ciku may be nutritious and certainly succulent and sweet when fresh from the tree. We were told that there a many worms in the fruit. True enough we found fresh wrigglies when we cut the fruit open.
Perhaps that's because even worms know good healthy food and they will avoid those with pesticides. Its us humans who sometimes do not know the difference or do not bother.
A very interesting place to live and many events occurred during our stay. Those incidents deserve a separate entry.
Gangster's Pledge of Honour
I do not know how true, but we were all told that there was no killing and violence in Setapak and Gombak because of a pact between the triads. Gangsters in Gombak made a deal with the Chinese triad not to disturb or harm each other. They probably gave out news of their pact to protect each other. Maybe this was a romaticised version of the agreement but I would like to remember it this way. At least some act of humanity in a crazy time.
Suspicion and Bad Feelings
Worse things happened but I do not want to mention this. Malaysians were peaceful loving people but many became divided, suspicious of each other and angry because of what happened.
Kampung Baru
After a while most of the Chinese community left because of a lot of racial tension. Because of ignorance people began to equate Malay with Islam.
In the end this suspicion and distrust became a very serious disease. It grew and grew and people probably got more afraid because of stories and rumours.
Human Problem
Never judge people by the colour of their skin, their race and their name. Some Chinese were loan sharks, gangsters and robbers 1n 1969 and there are still many Chinese who do the same until today. Some of these scavengers and scum of society never go away. As long as there is corruption, there is evil and vice. These are human problems not race or religion.
Many of my late mother's relatives were from Kampung Baru. They stayed there since they were young. It was home to them and they owned the land. Suddenly they felt unsafe and unwelcome.
Allah knows and sees all.
This riot shattered lives and dreams of innocent people. We cannot point fingers at anyone since we were not there. Neither did we see it with our own eyes. But some details were recorded by historians.
All I know is probably some few people could have benefitted hugely by this cruel chain of events and it scarred our beautiful country for life. I remember watching Tengku Abdul Rahman giving his resignation speech on tv. We were feeling sad to lose him as our much beloved PM. He was a people's PM. We are still trying to repair the damage after 40 years.
Hope for Healing
May Allah heal the hearts and wounds of all our fellowmen and let us live in harmony again, to focus our energy and our lives towards serving Him, in the hope of His good pleasure and the promise of paradise.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Long Forgotten People I Loved
My long lost relatives
Actually I may still have a few elderly relatives from my father's side whom I have lost track. Some children of my grand aunt, i.e. my late grandpa's brother's children, their children and their children.
Cousin May
Its quite a shame, really because though we all got along well enough, we did not love each well enough to keep in touch. My cousin May is around my own age. The last time I heard of her was she got married and settled in Hong Kong. Also heard she spent her days with the other tai tais (married ladies of leisure) playing mahjong. If I am not mistaken, I also heard she asked for a divorce later on. She could have a brother, I do not even remember, what a poor relative I am.
Courageous Defender of the People
Her father, my father's cousin was a policeman during the communist insurgency. People used to sleep comfortably in bed while the police and soldiers defended the country.
He was a tough and brave officer, stationed in the communist infested areas of Bentong, if I am not mistaken. The enemies all knew about him, nicknamed Chili Padi. They did not fool around with him. He was one agressive and brave fighter.
My mom said he was a very playful young man, always playing traunt but would burn the midnight oil before his exams. And he would excel in his exams.
All the vices
My uncle was a very terrible gambler. Once he mentioned he went to Genting for a gambling session. He took a metal box full of cash with him. He was the type who would follow his nafs (vain desires) and throw caution to the winds. A very controversial guy.
Once he said a driver was speeding recklessly near Federal House near Bukit Aman, the police headquarters. This man threatened my uncle on the road, probably for slowing him down and tried to assault him. Uncle Y W got so fed up with him that he took out his gun and aimed it at him. The bully panicked and took off very quickly, just like a frightened rabbit.
My grandma said my uncle was such a sweet talker that he could a talk a bird to sit in his hand. That's how persuasive he could be.
Marriage Breakdown affect family for life
My uncle was afraid of no one, being raised by my grandparents as he had a very irresponsible father. I do not remember ever having met granduncle before. He was probably outcast.
1st Part Time Job
Sweetie Danker and I worked in an ngo, sending appeal letters to people in the telephone directory, asking them to donate for charity to support the Association for the Prevention of Tuberculosis. Many people were still affected by this life threatening disease. TB is making a comeback to this part of the world lately, its curable if discovered early.
It was a happy place and my first job before I continued my studies. It was a very nice and peaceful place to work. Small wonder, since my grandfather was the Secretary General there and I got chauffeur driven everyday to work and back. The pay was not much but I learnt how to work with others and enjoyed my new responsibilities.
My grandfather a very active man
My grandfather was a very active man, even in his 70s. He had his own insurance agency and was also on the Board of School Governors in some school I was too young to be bothered to notice.
We always received VIP treatment whenever we went out with my grandparents. Dato' Ng my grandpa was also an active Rotary member and as on the board of the National Social Welfare Department and Pure Life Society. I was fascinated with the way he lived his life, serving in so many ngos and also his own work successfully.
Those Were The Days...
Those were the days long gone. Gone yes, but not forgotten. What we have after we lived our lives is only a treasury of memories. Some so very sweet like the heavenly taste of honey. Some memories so absolutely bitter till it hurts so bad and some just bitter sweet, enough flavour for us to take a few lessons from them. The impact strong enough to still motivate us to improve our lives, to learn who to trust and who to let go, even if they were our dearest friends before.
Learning from History
I had lost many opportunities to learn about family history from my grandparents and even my own parents though I remember some stories . Maybe some were very sad stories, I had no desire to know more. Yet my mother would repeat them, maybe to use them as lessons to guide her children. Or maybe to purge all the bitter and dark memories of her youth.
Follies of Youth
Some were events beyond her control, some were human weaknesses, like being impatient or intolerance of other people's weaknesses. Intolerance is two way. Its a struggle that may take years to overcome. Islam encourages us to be patient, to be tolerant, to be humble, think good, to be generous and most of all, to tawakkal to Allah. ( make effort, trust and leave the rest to Allah).
Life is full of stories, both happy and sad
My mother had an interesting life. She also shared the happy memories of youth. Its such a complex time, to be happy and sad at the same time. I guess it does happen to many people. Unhappy events would be pushed far back into the deep recesses of the mind, hoping to be forgotten, trying to forgive and trying to heal through time.
Allah Heals us with Time
Allah SWT is Kind, He heals us bit by bit, sometimes as much as we desire. We some times hold the key but when we had the chance to turn the key and open the lock to escape from our sadness or misery, we hold back. Is fear of the unknown? There is nothing to lose if what we want to do is something permitted by Allah SWT. We have to trust in Allah and free ourselves to live again.
Actually I may still have a few elderly relatives from my father's side whom I have lost track. Some children of my grand aunt, i.e. my late grandpa's brother's children, their children and their children.
Cousin May
Its quite a shame, really because though we all got along well enough, we did not love each well enough to keep in touch. My cousin May is around my own age. The last time I heard of her was she got married and settled in Hong Kong. Also heard she spent her days with the other tai tais (married ladies of leisure) playing mahjong. If I am not mistaken, I also heard she asked for a divorce later on. She could have a brother, I do not even remember, what a poor relative I am.
Courageous Defender of the People
Her father, my father's cousin was a policeman during the communist insurgency. People used to sleep comfortably in bed while the police and soldiers defended the country.
He was a tough and brave officer, stationed in the communist infested areas of Bentong, if I am not mistaken. The enemies all knew about him, nicknamed Chili Padi. They did not fool around with him. He was one agressive and brave fighter.
My mom said he was a very playful young man, always playing traunt but would burn the midnight oil before his exams. And he would excel in his exams.
All the vices
My uncle was a very terrible gambler. Once he mentioned he went to Genting for a gambling session. He took a metal box full of cash with him. He was the type who would follow his nafs (vain desires) and throw caution to the winds. A very controversial guy.
Once he said a driver was speeding recklessly near Federal House near Bukit Aman, the police headquarters. This man threatened my uncle on the road, probably for slowing him down and tried to assault him. Uncle Y W got so fed up with him that he took out his gun and aimed it at him. The bully panicked and took off very quickly, just like a frightened rabbit.
My grandma said my uncle was such a sweet talker that he could a talk a bird to sit in his hand. That's how persuasive he could be.
Marriage Breakdown affect family for life
My uncle was afraid of no one, being raised by my grandparents as he had a very irresponsible father. I do not remember ever having met granduncle before. He was probably outcast.
1st Part Time Job
Sweetie Danker and I worked in an ngo, sending appeal letters to people in the telephone directory, asking them to donate for charity to support the Association for the Prevention of Tuberculosis. Many people were still affected by this life threatening disease. TB is making a comeback to this part of the world lately, its curable if discovered early.
It was a happy place and my first job before I continued my studies. It was a very nice and peaceful place to work. Small wonder, since my grandfather was the Secretary General there and I got chauffeur driven everyday to work and back. The pay was not much but I learnt how to work with others and enjoyed my new responsibilities.
My grandfather a very active man
My grandfather was a very active man, even in his 70s. He had his own insurance agency and was also on the Board of School Governors in some school I was too young to be bothered to notice.
We always received VIP treatment whenever we went out with my grandparents. Dato' Ng my grandpa was also an active Rotary member and as on the board of the National Social Welfare Department and Pure Life Society. I was fascinated with the way he lived his life, serving in so many ngos and also his own work successfully.
Those Were The Days...
Those were the days long gone. Gone yes, but not forgotten. What we have after we lived our lives is only a treasury of memories. Some so very sweet like the heavenly taste of honey. Some memories so absolutely bitter till it hurts so bad and some just bitter sweet, enough flavour for us to take a few lessons from them. The impact strong enough to still motivate us to improve our lives, to learn who to trust and who to let go, even if they were our dearest friends before.
Learning from History
I had lost many opportunities to learn about family history from my grandparents and even my own parents though I remember some stories . Maybe some were very sad stories, I had no desire to know more. Yet my mother would repeat them, maybe to use them as lessons to guide her children. Or maybe to purge all the bitter and dark memories of her youth.
Follies of Youth
Some were events beyond her control, some were human weaknesses, like being impatient or intolerance of other people's weaknesses. Intolerance is two way. Its a struggle that may take years to overcome. Islam encourages us to be patient, to be tolerant, to be humble, think good, to be generous and most of all, to tawakkal to Allah. ( make effort, trust and leave the rest to Allah).
Life is full of stories, both happy and sad
My mother had an interesting life. She also shared the happy memories of youth. Its such a complex time, to be happy and sad at the same time. I guess it does happen to many people. Unhappy events would be pushed far back into the deep recesses of the mind, hoping to be forgotten, trying to forgive and trying to heal through time.
Allah Heals us with Time
Allah SWT is Kind, He heals us bit by bit, sometimes as much as we desire. We some times hold the key but when we had the chance to turn the key and open the lock to escape from our sadness or misery, we hold back. Is fear of the unknown? There is nothing to lose if what we want to do is something permitted by Allah SWT. We have to trust in Allah and free ourselves to live again.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Losing Life or Limb, which is worse.....?
Be Truly Thankful
Alhamdulillah! All Praise to Allah SWT for our daily blessings. I can walk, I can talk, can see, can speak and can think. I can eat and laugh, love and cry. All these are truly blessings that we take for granted. We may be aware but at times we forget.
Early Call
Last week an old friend passed away. I got a phone call early in the morning. We made more calls but it was fated that we had to miss joining the family to send him off on his last journey.
Farewell
Rest in Peace dear brother in Iman. May Allah forgive all your sins and accept all your good deeds. May He give you a place in the highest Jannah/Paradise, to be reunited with your friends and loved ones in the Hereafter.
Successful and Extremely Wealthy
This brother had been a very busy and successful businessman. He was a kind and generous man and often helped the needy.
Hospitalised Overnight
Suddenly this brother was hospitalised for a heart ailment. It must have been so serious that in order to save his life, the doctors had to put him into induced coma. While in coma , it was reported that his leg developed a serious blot clot . Upon doctor's and specialist advice, they did all they could to save him.
When he woke up, he discovered someone had amputated his leg, right up to his hips. It was a very traumatic shock for him, someone who had been battling for his life while under coma.
We had no idea he had been going through this ordeal. Once we were informed, we invited a group of friends and well wishers to visit him
A Shadow of His Old Self
When we met him he looked frail and weak. His voice was soft and gentle, patient and humble. He looked a shadow of his old self. I was very touched by the drastic change in him. Though he looked weak, I really liked the way he looked, the way he spoke and the far away look in his eyes. He looked very peaceful and strong in iman.
"I was very disappointed and could not accept what had happened to me. It took me a long time to accept Allah SWT's decision".
Borrowed parts, borrowed time
Everything belongs to Allah. We must all return to him one fine day. He can take anything He wishes. It is easy for Him.
His home was specially designed and was colossal. It had the necessary recreational facilities like a lift, large halls, badminton and tennis courts, open spaces and perhaps swimming pool. I remembered he once mentioned he wanted to build a pool so his son could swim. What a loving father. When we are sick all the worldly pleasures mean nothing to the person. I am sure he could have considered giving all all his wealth in exchange for his good health.
Tough to Lose a Limb
It is of course not easy for anyone to lose a limb or even the little finger. We need every part of our body. Even if our wrist or hand is hurt, we are unable to work, write or even drive properly. Its obviously painful and difficult to move about without help. Its really uncomfortable and tiring to sit too long with one leg gone.
He had to go for physiotherapy regularly and the long journey was long and bumpy. Everything took extra effort and it was lonely because everyone else would be working or doing other things.
Truly Thankful
He however slowly added something like "I'm now thankful for what happened to me. If I still had my good health, I would still be busy making money and more money. Now I spend my time reading Al Quran, I do my dzikir."
Impression in my Mind
His words stuck in my mind and I was thankful to Allah that this brother finally grew to appreciate Allah's decision and accept His destiny with humble patience and wisdom.
My heart went out to him and I really admired him for his patience and humility. I liked the new man I saw before me.
Wisdom
There is always good and wisdom behind anything that happens to us. This brother was tested and he made daily effort to increase his iman (faith). He was protected from trials and tribulations of the business world. Allah is Most Merciful.
Seeing beyond the obvious
People may have felt sorry to see him so different from his healthy days but sometimes what we see is just an illusion. We have to wake up and learn to see beyond that. He had found something more valuable spiritually and not everyone can see that.
Alhamdulillah! All Praise to Allah SWT for our daily blessings. I can walk, I can talk, can see, can speak and can think. I can eat and laugh, love and cry. All these are truly blessings that we take for granted. We may be aware but at times we forget.
Early Call
Last week an old friend passed away. I got a phone call early in the morning. We made more calls but it was fated that we had to miss joining the family to send him off on his last journey.
Farewell
Rest in Peace dear brother in Iman. May Allah forgive all your sins and accept all your good deeds. May He give you a place in the highest Jannah/Paradise, to be reunited with your friends and loved ones in the Hereafter.
Successful and Extremely Wealthy
This brother had been a very busy and successful businessman. He was a kind and generous man and often helped the needy.
Hospitalised Overnight
Suddenly this brother was hospitalised for a heart ailment. It must have been so serious that in order to save his life, the doctors had to put him into induced coma. While in coma , it was reported that his leg developed a serious blot clot . Upon doctor's and specialist advice, they did all they could to save him.
When he woke up, he discovered someone had amputated his leg, right up to his hips. It was a very traumatic shock for him, someone who had been battling for his life while under coma.
We had no idea he had been going through this ordeal. Once we were informed, we invited a group of friends and well wishers to visit him
A Shadow of His Old Self
When we met him he looked frail and weak. His voice was soft and gentle, patient and humble. He looked a shadow of his old self. I was very touched by the drastic change in him. Though he looked weak, I really liked the way he looked, the way he spoke and the far away look in his eyes. He looked very peaceful and strong in iman.
"I was very disappointed and could not accept what had happened to me. It took me a long time to accept Allah SWT's decision".
Borrowed parts, borrowed time
Everything belongs to Allah. We must all return to him one fine day. He can take anything He wishes. It is easy for Him.
His home was specially designed and was colossal. It had the necessary recreational facilities like a lift, large halls, badminton and tennis courts, open spaces and perhaps swimming pool. I remembered he once mentioned he wanted to build a pool so his son could swim. What a loving father. When we are sick all the worldly pleasures mean nothing to the person. I am sure he could have considered giving all all his wealth in exchange for his good health.
Tough to Lose a Limb
It is of course not easy for anyone to lose a limb or even the little finger. We need every part of our body. Even if our wrist or hand is hurt, we are unable to work, write or even drive properly. Its obviously painful and difficult to move about without help. Its really uncomfortable and tiring to sit too long with one leg gone.
He had to go for physiotherapy regularly and the long journey was long and bumpy. Everything took extra effort and it was lonely because everyone else would be working or doing other things.
Truly Thankful
He however slowly added something like "I'm now thankful for what happened to me. If I still had my good health, I would still be busy making money and more money. Now I spend my time reading Al Quran, I do my dzikir."
Impression in my Mind
His words stuck in my mind and I was thankful to Allah that this brother finally grew to appreciate Allah's decision and accept His destiny with humble patience and wisdom.
My heart went out to him and I really admired him for his patience and humility. I liked the new man I saw before me.
Wisdom
There is always good and wisdom behind anything that happens to us. This brother was tested and he made daily effort to increase his iman (faith). He was protected from trials and tribulations of the business world. Allah is Most Merciful.
Seeing beyond the obvious
People may have felt sorry to see him so different from his healthy days but sometimes what we see is just an illusion. We have to wake up and learn to see beyond that. He had found something more valuable spiritually and not everyone can see that.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
What does Ah Kam look like?
What does Ah Kam look like?
Ah Kam is a short and fairly stout woman. She has thick naturally wavy silver white hair and smiling eyes. She always wears a big smile on her face and that is how I picture her all the time.
Uncle Jimmy was very ill
When Ah Kam was young, my uncle Jimmy fell seriously ill. He could not work and she had to spend her time working extra hard to make ends meet. The children were all very young, still in primary school. Alhamdulillah my mom and few close relatives managed to help ease her burden a bit.
Learning about sharing
My mother showed true spirit of sharing. She herself did not have much money but our house was always full of food all year round. My father was stingy with other things but he was generous with food. We also had a good housekeeper and cook plus 2 childminders., for me and my brother.
Sharing is caring
I would watch mom pack cans of food and other vegetables into some plastic bags. She would also pack her used clothes to be distributed to all of Ah Kam's needy relatives in the villages. People were waiting in line for my mother's used clothes. She used to sew a lot and many of her clothes were beautifully embroidered. She enjoyed sewing so she kept on giving clothes away to make way for new ones. Alhamdulillah.
Life in the new villages
Many people were very poor in the new villages. With so many mouths to feed it was not easy for some of them. People would consider our family well off compared to them. We were only just an average family but we lived well. Alhamdulillah. That was lots of blessings from Allah SWT.
Honest lady
Besides sharing food and clothing, mom would also loan money to her. Nothing much, but just enough for her to roll. Ah Kam was an honest lady. It took her years to repay all the loans extended to her by family , friends and the sundry shop. She could hold her head up high as she fulfilled her obligations. I am proud of her.
Hair turned silvery white overnight
One day, as a child, I noticed Ah Kam's hair had turned silvery grey. My mother said her hair turned white because of the great stress she had been bearing all those years. It left a great impact on me. I could see that human suffering could change a person's life so much.
Family holidays in Port Dickson
I loved my cousins and we used to meet whenever we had our school holidays in Port Dickson. Uncle Jimmy had a sister who also helped to care for the family. Poor Uncle Jimmy was so ill that he could not work for years. During his long stay in the hospital, he somehow learnt how to knit. I remember he knitted a bright chilly red woollen cardigan with beautiful cable stitch for me. I was a shy girl and red was too overpowering for me. I did not wear it.
Red is too much for me
Now when I think about it, it showed my lack of affinity with red. Till today, I feel red generally just a bit too much. Its beautiful but I only admire it from afar. I rather prefer burgundy or dark pink. However I appreciated his kindness and he remained one of my favourite uncles.
Happy Memories
The large bungalow facing the beach near Si Rusa Inn was a happy experience for us. It belonged to uncle Jimmy's family. We spent many happy holidays there. Facing the sea and beach which was clean and unpolluted during our childhood.
My mom would bring butter cookies, cake and other home made goodies on these trips. The adults would cook there and also teach each other special dishes. I remembered the men went out to catch crabs in the middle of the night.
Great Cooking Adventures
Several of the ladies who joined us regularly were excellent cooks. They cooked wonderful meals and learnt from one another. My mother learnt and years later, when I grew older, taught me Emperor's Chicken, a stuffed chicken baked in foil. It was filled with lots of mushrooms, potatoes, carrots, innards and seasoned with soya sauce and other condiments. Everyone enjoyed that whenever we served it.
Being Poor does not stop us from Helping Others
My mom used to repeat Ah Kam's favourite phrase. "I may be poor, but I am able to help others by contributing my time and my energy. Others can provide cash whereas I can provide the energy and effort." It had rubbed off on us since a young age. Mom and Ah Kam motivated each other to do good and to help those in need.
Inheriting mom's clothes
When mom passed away aunt asked me to give her some of mom's clothes. She wanted to wear them to feel close to mom. I promised her. One day I went there with possible 30 pieces or more of mom' s clothes. I had to give almost all away as the memories were too heavy to bear at that time.
Mom loved to dress well and she also could sew and embroider beautifully. I have kept some for another sister who wanted a momento.
Looking like mom
Last week when we went to visit Ah Kam, she was wearing mom's blouse, a white top with red and black flowers. It fitted her perfectly. My brother remarked quietly that she reminded him so much of mom when he saw her wearing that. Sad memories.
Hoping for a miracle
I am proud that my uncle and aunt successfully raised good children and they in turned raised good children of their own. I only feel sad they did not receive the knowledge of Islam. I did try to share ineffectively many years ago but perhaps I did not handle it well. They did not get any benefit from my efforts. I am having the faint hope that my aunt may miraculously discover the beauty of Islam. Still trying. Ameen.
Ah Kam is a short and fairly stout woman. She has thick naturally wavy silver white hair and smiling eyes. She always wears a big smile on her face and that is how I picture her all the time.
Uncle Jimmy was very ill
When Ah Kam was young, my uncle Jimmy fell seriously ill. He could not work and she had to spend her time working extra hard to make ends meet. The children were all very young, still in primary school. Alhamdulillah my mom and few close relatives managed to help ease her burden a bit.
Learning about sharing
My mother showed true spirit of sharing. She herself did not have much money but our house was always full of food all year round. My father was stingy with other things but he was generous with food. We also had a good housekeeper and cook plus 2 childminders., for me and my brother.
Sharing is caring
I would watch mom pack cans of food and other vegetables into some plastic bags. She would also pack her used clothes to be distributed to all of Ah Kam's needy relatives in the villages. People were waiting in line for my mother's used clothes. She used to sew a lot and many of her clothes were beautifully embroidered. She enjoyed sewing so she kept on giving clothes away to make way for new ones. Alhamdulillah.
Life in the new villages
Many people were very poor in the new villages. With so many mouths to feed it was not easy for some of them. People would consider our family well off compared to them. We were only just an average family but we lived well. Alhamdulillah. That was lots of blessings from Allah SWT.
Honest lady
Besides sharing food and clothing, mom would also loan money to her. Nothing much, but just enough for her to roll. Ah Kam was an honest lady. It took her years to repay all the loans extended to her by family , friends and the sundry shop. She could hold her head up high as she fulfilled her obligations. I am proud of her.
Hair turned silvery white overnight
One day, as a child, I noticed Ah Kam's hair had turned silvery grey. My mother said her hair turned white because of the great stress she had been bearing all those years. It left a great impact on me. I could see that human suffering could change a person's life so much.
Family holidays in Port Dickson
I loved my cousins and we used to meet whenever we had our school holidays in Port Dickson. Uncle Jimmy had a sister who also helped to care for the family. Poor Uncle Jimmy was so ill that he could not work for years. During his long stay in the hospital, he somehow learnt how to knit. I remember he knitted a bright chilly red woollen cardigan with beautiful cable stitch for me. I was a shy girl and red was too overpowering for me. I did not wear it.
Red is too much for me
Now when I think about it, it showed my lack of affinity with red. Till today, I feel red generally just a bit too much. Its beautiful but I only admire it from afar. I rather prefer burgundy or dark pink. However I appreciated his kindness and he remained one of my favourite uncles.
Happy Memories
The large bungalow facing the beach near Si Rusa Inn was a happy experience for us. It belonged to uncle Jimmy's family. We spent many happy holidays there. Facing the sea and beach which was clean and unpolluted during our childhood.
My mom would bring butter cookies, cake and other home made goodies on these trips. The adults would cook there and also teach each other special dishes. I remembered the men went out to catch crabs in the middle of the night.
Great Cooking Adventures
Several of the ladies who joined us regularly were excellent cooks. They cooked wonderful meals and learnt from one another. My mother learnt and years later, when I grew older, taught me Emperor's Chicken, a stuffed chicken baked in foil. It was filled with lots of mushrooms, potatoes, carrots, innards and seasoned with soya sauce and other condiments. Everyone enjoyed that whenever we served it.
Being Poor does not stop us from Helping Others
My mom used to repeat Ah Kam's favourite phrase. "I may be poor, but I am able to help others by contributing my time and my energy. Others can provide cash whereas I can provide the energy and effort." It had rubbed off on us since a young age. Mom and Ah Kam motivated each other to do good and to help those in need.
Inheriting mom's clothes
When mom passed away aunt asked me to give her some of mom's clothes. She wanted to wear them to feel close to mom. I promised her. One day I went there with possible 30 pieces or more of mom' s clothes. I had to give almost all away as the memories were too heavy to bear at that time.
Mom loved to dress well and she also could sew and embroider beautifully. I have kept some for another sister who wanted a momento.
Looking like mom
Last week when we went to visit Ah Kam, she was wearing mom's blouse, a white top with red and black flowers. It fitted her perfectly. My brother remarked quietly that she reminded him so much of mom when he saw her wearing that. Sad memories.
Hoping for a miracle
I am proud that my uncle and aunt successfully raised good children and they in turned raised good children of their own. I only feel sad they did not receive the knowledge of Islam. I did try to share ineffectively many years ago but perhaps I did not handle it well. They did not get any benefit from my efforts. I am having the faint hope that my aunt may miraculously discover the beauty of Islam. Still trying. Ameen.
Long Trip to Kajang
Stopping for a Quick Lunch
Alhamdulillah! We had just enough time to stop by the roadside near her house for a quick meal. There is a stall near the flats that is very popular and food is very fresh and hot. I figured I'd better grab a quick bite, just in case. I could not enjoy my bihun soup, tahu sumbat (fried tofu stuffed with cucumber and bean sprouts, served with sweet chilli sauce. I could not resist the hot crispy prawn fritters but could not finish that either. I lost my appetite. I was getting a bit worried. Just tawakkal (do what we can and leave the rest to God).
Ah Kam Alive and Well! Alhamdulillah!
As we drove up, the maid happened to be outside. Alhamdulillah Ah Kam appeared quickly at the doorway. I was relieved. I was thankful I was not too late. It would have been a great shame and I would have to kick myself for waiting for the right time.
Of course we dared not mention that we were afraid something fatal had befallen her. No news for for long! Yet always apprehensive for her calls as I would feel bad thatI did not call often enough and did not visit. I really dread driving all the way there. Driving stresses me out as I have to also send my brother home after the long journey.
No Right or Perfect Time
There is no right time, its hard to get the perfect moment when the car would be in perfect condition, enough money to fill a full tank to get there, money, presents.... But I did want our visits to be special for her. She had so little to look forward to since my uncle Jimmy passed on a few months ago.
Lost Her Job as Wife and Carer
Uncle Jimmy died in his sleep, in his favourite chair in front of the television. I missed him. when I visited to inform my aunt that my mom had passed away, Ah Kum signalled to me not to let my uncle find out. He was very close to my mom and it would have upset him a lot.
Nothing to Do - Nothing to Look Forward To
After so many years of caring and supporting her family, her last job was taken from her. She lost her position as wife and carer when her husband passed on. Though he left her with some small inheritance, she could not utilise it as it has to be saved for a rainy day. Perhaps it would used for the fateful trip to the hospital should she fall ill. Her children provides her the basic necessities and she has a roof over her head, a helper to clean the house and help a little in the kitchen.
Caring for the Family for many years
The house is cool and fairly roomy after everyone left the nest. May, the eldest daughter, husband and 2 daughters had stayed with her and the rest would return home daily for their dinner. Ah Kam had continued to cook for her large brood of 12 adults and children. Cooking non stop, without a real long break all those years until the children were in their teens. How long was that? Fifty years of her life?
Power of Mother's Love
She used to say she was so tired but the children still needed her to care for the grandchildren and to cook for them daily. It was an act of love to give so much of herself. I know many mothers do this too. The power of a mother's love.
Happy Chinese New Year, Ah Kam
I wished my aunt "Happy Chinese New Year". Asked her "How was your new year? ". Did the children come home for the reunion?". Her second daughter and her entire family are staying in Singapore since last year. The boys are in college there. She said "Yes, they all came home, the house was full of people." I asked " How long did they stay?".
She was quiet for a while. "They only stayed for a day. Everybody left after that". I was really surprised. I felt really bad because it was special moment for her, new year was always full of people, sharing, laughing, eating together. It was a long holiday but only one day? Maybe they had to go back to work and travelling back by car would take time.
Muslims have to make many excuses for people and try not judge. After all, we have no idea of other people's lives. We have to try to think good, though its quite challenging at times.
Wisdom in Old Age
I tried to change the subject, talked about the coolness of the house, how it did not face the setting sun. She said she was thankful she had a roof over her head. "To me, the most important things I need are a few roof tiles over my head and some food". She knows she does not need a lot of worldly things to survive, she is not bothered with such things anymore.
Sacrificing something we love for the sake of Allah
I was glad I could still muster up a decent ang pow, since I did not visit for so long. She took it quickly from me, as if afraid I would change my mind. She had been very polite every time I gave her money, telling me its not necessary, although she would pocket it all the same. (Smile)
Justified for Making Greater Effort
This time she showed for a moment that what I gave was perhaps needed. I felt justified. I want her to know Muslims are caring and I did emphasise that we do make effort to do certain good deeds because it is required of us as Muslims. Just trying to share beauty of Islam.
My brother commented that this year she did not give him or my son any angpow. He did not mention that he had not given her any ang pow either.
Perhaps she had used up all her pocket money to give a treat to her visiting children and grandchildren. Perhaps she really does need some support. She is not the kind of person who would want to burden her own children or anyone else. Some of them earned well enough but they may have other commitments. I did not ask. No point to ask if we cannot really help. It just adds insult to injury.
Alhamdulillah! We had just enough time to stop by the roadside near her house for a quick meal. There is a stall near the flats that is very popular and food is very fresh and hot. I figured I'd better grab a quick bite, just in case. I could not enjoy my bihun soup, tahu sumbat (fried tofu stuffed with cucumber and bean sprouts, served with sweet chilli sauce. I could not resist the hot crispy prawn fritters but could not finish that either. I lost my appetite. I was getting a bit worried. Just tawakkal (do what we can and leave the rest to God).
Ah Kam Alive and Well! Alhamdulillah!
As we drove up, the maid happened to be outside. Alhamdulillah Ah Kam appeared quickly at the doorway. I was relieved. I was thankful I was not too late. It would have been a great shame and I would have to kick myself for waiting for the right time.
Of course we dared not mention that we were afraid something fatal had befallen her. No news for for long! Yet always apprehensive for her calls as I would feel bad thatI did not call often enough and did not visit. I really dread driving all the way there. Driving stresses me out as I have to also send my brother home after the long journey.
No Right or Perfect Time
There is no right time, its hard to get the perfect moment when the car would be in perfect condition, enough money to fill a full tank to get there, money, presents.... But I did want our visits to be special for her. She had so little to look forward to since my uncle Jimmy passed on a few months ago.
Lost Her Job as Wife and Carer
Uncle Jimmy died in his sleep, in his favourite chair in front of the television. I missed him. when I visited to inform my aunt that my mom had passed away, Ah Kum signalled to me not to let my uncle find out. He was very close to my mom and it would have upset him a lot.
Nothing to Do - Nothing to Look Forward To
After so many years of caring and supporting her family, her last job was taken from her. She lost her position as wife and carer when her husband passed on. Though he left her with some small inheritance, she could not utilise it as it has to be saved for a rainy day. Perhaps it would used for the fateful trip to the hospital should she fall ill. Her children provides her the basic necessities and she has a roof over her head, a helper to clean the house and help a little in the kitchen.
Caring for the Family for many years
The house is cool and fairly roomy after everyone left the nest. May, the eldest daughter, husband and 2 daughters had stayed with her and the rest would return home daily for their dinner. Ah Kam had continued to cook for her large brood of 12 adults and children. Cooking non stop, without a real long break all those years until the children were in their teens. How long was that? Fifty years of her life?
Power of Mother's Love
She used to say she was so tired but the children still needed her to care for the grandchildren and to cook for them daily. It was an act of love to give so much of herself. I know many mothers do this too. The power of a mother's love.
Happy Chinese New Year, Ah Kam
I wished my aunt "Happy Chinese New Year". Asked her "How was your new year? ". Did the children come home for the reunion?". Her second daughter and her entire family are staying in Singapore since last year. The boys are in college there. She said "Yes, they all came home, the house was full of people." I asked " How long did they stay?".
She was quiet for a while. "They only stayed for a day. Everybody left after that". I was really surprised. I felt really bad because it was special moment for her, new year was always full of people, sharing, laughing, eating together. It was a long holiday but only one day? Maybe they had to go back to work and travelling back by car would take time.
Muslims have to make many excuses for people and try not judge. After all, we have no idea of other people's lives. We have to try to think good, though its quite challenging at times.
Wisdom in Old Age
I tried to change the subject, talked about the coolness of the house, how it did not face the setting sun. She said she was thankful she had a roof over her head. "To me, the most important things I need are a few roof tiles over my head and some food". She knows she does not need a lot of worldly things to survive, she is not bothered with such things anymore.
Sacrificing something we love for the sake of Allah
I was glad I could still muster up a decent ang pow, since I did not visit for so long. She took it quickly from me, as if afraid I would change my mind. She had been very polite every time I gave her money, telling me its not necessary, although she would pocket it all the same. (Smile)
Justified for Making Greater Effort
This time she showed for a moment that what I gave was perhaps needed. I felt justified. I want her to know Muslims are caring and I did emphasise that we do make effort to do certain good deeds because it is required of us as Muslims. Just trying to share beauty of Islam.
My brother commented that this year she did not give him or my son any angpow. He did not mention that he had not given her any ang pow either.
Perhaps she had used up all her pocket money to give a treat to her visiting children and grandchildren. Perhaps she really does need some support. She is not the kind of person who would want to burden her own children or anyone else. Some of them earned well enough but they may have other commitments. I did not ask. No point to ask if we cannot really help. It just adds insult to injury.
Meaningful Silatul Rahim and Dawah Effort
My Dear Aunt
My mother had a very close friend and confidante, we call her Ah Kam, meaning aunt who is married to her foster brother, Jimmy Loh. Her name is Kueen.
So Difficult to Break Bad News
Ever since I had to break the sad news that my mom had already passed away a month before she was told, she was very stressed about the welfare of the rest of us. She kept saying, I do not have anyone to care much for me now. Do not lose contact, tell me what is happening to all of you.
She wanted us to inform her if there was anything wrong, she wanted to visit and to see my father. She was really upset she could not see my mom just one time. How could I add to her sadness to tell her mom was suffering too much and we ourselves were too devasted to do enough . Once we admitted her into the hospital, we are unable to control the flow of events. Allah knows best.
Difficult Decision
It was indeed a very difficult decision to send a loved one to hospital as we know it will all be about drugs, rules and regulations and sometimes human trial and error. Yet if we choose to keep them at home, how educated or skillful are we to know how to take care of a seriously ill person? Can we take that great responsibility? Its indeed painful to send my parents to the hospital during emergency.
Keep me informed, she pleaded
I still remember her words. She wanted to be informed but we could not do that. When my father passed away suddenly, just hours after he fell, I could not bear to be the bearer of sad news again. This time we had to go all the way to her house in Cheras, almost at the Kajang border. When I broke the news to her, she was of course very upset.
Allah is Merciful
We consoled her and said it happened so quickly. We were thankful he did not lie suffering in bed for years, with a broken back or fractured ribs. Allah SWT is most Merciful. My father was returned to Allah very swiftly, with a minimum of prolonged suffering.
Of course I did not tell her how he fell, on his head, fracturing it and blood was visible on the cold terrazo floor. He was unable to speak words of farewell, but Allah knows best. It sounded like his throat was blocked by the blood but we did not know what do do. He could not respond. There was no choice but to call the ambulance.
Hard to Say Farewell
Maybe it would be just too emotional and painful for the final parting. No matter how we leave this worldly life, there will be blessing when we redha (accept with patience and even be pleased with the decision).
We are so very minute in the universe yet we are often arrogant and reckless
What do we really know, we are just little bits of dust that float in one tiny universe of universes. Allahu Akbar. We are sometimes so self centered that we think of nothing but ourselves, our needs, our feelings and our opinions. We forgot to be grateful or humble. May Allah forgive us.
Aunt is making the effort, not us
Anyway, Ah Kam continued to call us on the phone every now and then, when she did not hear from us. That is my weakness, I do not like call people on the phone unless its work or some ngo activity. I actually prefer do spend the day doing what I have to do without too much social interaction.
Perhaps its my way of saving my sanity from too much information overload. I get a barrage of sms and calls on a regular basis from people who want information, assistance and worst of all , money! That is something I just do not have enough to pass around. I feel sorry for some genuine cases and they really deserve support and attention.
Bad Phone!
Few months ago I lost her phone number as my phone was automatically deleting vital contacts as fast as I could add them on again. Its my 3rd phone in one year so I was really reluctant to replace it. I tried a hardy phone, a cheaper one, a more costly one, different makes, they all still behaved really badly. So I am still going around with a phone with a bad attitude.
Why No Sound from Aunt Kueen?
Over 3 months must have passed and I only received one call from Ah Kam. It did not occur to me to check her number because I assumed her number was still registered in the phone. When we tried to call her before Chinese New Year, we could not get her. She too did not call. I began to miss her calls.
My turn to wonder is Ah Kam dead or alive?
We had neglected her due to our own work and personal problems. I also had to save some cash to give her every time we visited her. Nothing much but a few hundred ringgit every few months may help her buy some little luxuries or food she enjoyed. Her children provides her with food and a helper so she had the basic necessities.
Maintaining Ties of Kinship
In Islam we are supposed to continue the friendship and good relationship of our parents with their close friends or relatives. Ah Kam is now our responsibility. Last week we decided to visit her wind, rain or shine. I was getting worried and began to feel guilty for neglecting her.
I was hoping she would still be sitting, alive and well, in her gloomy dark hall when the car pulled up to the front of her gate.
My mother had a very close friend and confidante, we call her Ah Kam, meaning aunt who is married to her foster brother, Jimmy Loh. Her name is Kueen.
So Difficult to Break Bad News
Ever since I had to break the sad news that my mom had already passed away a month before she was told, she was very stressed about the welfare of the rest of us. She kept saying, I do not have anyone to care much for me now. Do not lose contact, tell me what is happening to all of you.
She wanted us to inform her if there was anything wrong, she wanted to visit and to see my father. She was really upset she could not see my mom just one time. How could I add to her sadness to tell her mom was suffering too much and we ourselves were too devasted to do enough . Once we admitted her into the hospital, we are unable to control the flow of events. Allah knows best.
Difficult Decision
It was indeed a very difficult decision to send a loved one to hospital as we know it will all be about drugs, rules and regulations and sometimes human trial and error. Yet if we choose to keep them at home, how educated or skillful are we to know how to take care of a seriously ill person? Can we take that great responsibility? Its indeed painful to send my parents to the hospital during emergency.
Keep me informed, she pleaded
I still remember her words. She wanted to be informed but we could not do that. When my father passed away suddenly, just hours after he fell, I could not bear to be the bearer of sad news again. This time we had to go all the way to her house in Cheras, almost at the Kajang border. When I broke the news to her, she was of course very upset.
Allah is Merciful
We consoled her and said it happened so quickly. We were thankful he did not lie suffering in bed for years, with a broken back or fractured ribs. Allah SWT is most Merciful. My father was returned to Allah very swiftly, with a minimum of prolonged suffering.
Of course I did not tell her how he fell, on his head, fracturing it and blood was visible on the cold terrazo floor. He was unable to speak words of farewell, but Allah knows best. It sounded like his throat was blocked by the blood but we did not know what do do. He could not respond. There was no choice but to call the ambulance.
Hard to Say Farewell
Maybe it would be just too emotional and painful for the final parting. No matter how we leave this worldly life, there will be blessing when we redha (accept with patience and even be pleased with the decision).
We are so very minute in the universe yet we are often arrogant and reckless
What do we really know, we are just little bits of dust that float in one tiny universe of universes. Allahu Akbar. We are sometimes so self centered that we think of nothing but ourselves, our needs, our feelings and our opinions. We forgot to be grateful or humble. May Allah forgive us.
Aunt is making the effort, not us
Anyway, Ah Kam continued to call us on the phone every now and then, when she did not hear from us. That is my weakness, I do not like call people on the phone unless its work or some ngo activity. I actually prefer do spend the day doing what I have to do without too much social interaction.
Perhaps its my way of saving my sanity from too much information overload. I get a barrage of sms and calls on a regular basis from people who want information, assistance and worst of all , money! That is something I just do not have enough to pass around. I feel sorry for some genuine cases and they really deserve support and attention.
Bad Phone!
Few months ago I lost her phone number as my phone was automatically deleting vital contacts as fast as I could add them on again. Its my 3rd phone in one year so I was really reluctant to replace it. I tried a hardy phone, a cheaper one, a more costly one, different makes, they all still behaved really badly. So I am still going around with a phone with a bad attitude.
Why No Sound from Aunt Kueen?
Over 3 months must have passed and I only received one call from Ah Kam. It did not occur to me to check her number because I assumed her number was still registered in the phone. When we tried to call her before Chinese New Year, we could not get her. She too did not call. I began to miss her calls.
My turn to wonder is Ah Kam dead or alive?
We had neglected her due to our own work and personal problems. I also had to save some cash to give her every time we visited her. Nothing much but a few hundred ringgit every few months may help her buy some little luxuries or food she enjoyed. Her children provides her with food and a helper so she had the basic necessities.
Maintaining Ties of Kinship
In Islam we are supposed to continue the friendship and good relationship of our parents with their close friends or relatives. Ah Kam is now our responsibility. Last week we decided to visit her wind, rain or shine. I was getting worried and began to feel guilty for neglecting her.
I was hoping she would still be sitting, alive and well, in her gloomy dark hall when the car pulled up to the front of her gate.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Fun in Primary School
Primary School
I was probably 8 or 9, pupil at Marian Convent, Hot Springs, Setapak. I liked my school and Ms Wong was my favourite teacher. I remember the first month in standard one we were instructed to draw all sorts of pictures following the alphabet. I still remembered the large teapot I drew in my large sketch book. Miss Wong liked it very much.
That made a good impression in the mind of a 7 year old child. We liked the subject where the teacher inspired us. They sure knew how to make lessons fun.
On my very first day of school I lost my colour pencils. I thought it only happened to me. Of course it was rather upsetting as I had to tell that to my mom when I got home. It showed I did not appreciate my new possessions . Actually I left it in my desk but the whole box simply disappeared!
Children keep losing things in standard one
When my son was in standard one, it also happened to him. Several times. I then realised children were very carefree and careless. They did not yet know how to take care of their own things. They learnt the hard way. Some also lost their water bottles and their pencil cases. They also did not learn how to respect the rights of others. Children are not too young to learn. They need gentle guidance, just do it in a way they understand.
Lost and Found
My son got so tired of losing his pencils that he resorted to retrieving lost pencils from the class wastepaper basket. I was rather surprised at his resourcefulness. He must have got tired of reporting to his teacher that he lost his pencils again.
Some kids must have been taking pencils , sharpeners and erasers from the desks of other kids and were dumping all the into the bin and around the classroom . Like some sort of game.
Fun in School
Each year we had events where pupils could take part in competitions and sports etc. I was a rather shy kid but somehow decided to take part in a fancy dress competition. Perhaps the idea of dressing up appealed to me.It had a sense of adventure!
My Pretty yet Practical Outfit
I probably could have been quite a practical child. I did not choose a character where I had to find ways to get the correct costume to achieve the look. It would have been difficult to acquire a zebra or hippo costume.
I decided I could wear one of my new frocks which was inspired by nursery rhymes. Mom probably would not have agreed to making a whole new costume just for a child's competition. And no way my father would have agreed to pay for it!
Nursery Rhyme Character?
I wore my new year outfit, a sweet lacy lilac lined flocked nylon frock dress with a removable waist peplum. I thought it was pretty cool and probably the judges were impressed too. It was fun and rather competitive, so much for excitement for the day. :)
I also carried a staff or crook, a lovely carved walking stick that belonged to my grandfather. I was so short and small that the walking stick looked like a long staff. I think a ribbon was tied to it to complete the look. I could have worn a little bonnet, but I cannot remember.
What kind of prize would motivate
a child to improve?
Can you guess which character I was portraying? I won a prize for the effort. In fact, I do not remember what I won. Must be some most forgettable kind of gift. Do not disregard children's opinions and their first impressions. If you want to instill pride and satisfaction in their efforts, give them a worthy reward. It does not have to be monetary. Make it memorable.
Make it Memorable
How about a treat to a picnic at the Bird Park, with a special lunch or a little party with a few friends. A pot luck with their cousins? Just do not be too mediocre all the time. Make an impact if you wish to create childhood memories. My mother did that with us through the years.
Trained to Worship in School
We always took part in concerts and sketches, all held at the school canteen. In fact, almost everything was done in the canteen.That was where the kindly missionary nuns tried to incorporate the daily christian prayers into our daily routine. All of us could memorise and repeat the prayers of Hail Mary and Our Father...We all thought that was what all kids and adults do.
Why be Missionary?
Why did they do that? Probably they had all taken a vow to serve the Creator through Jesus. They were trying to save the heathen souls and bring them to Heaven. They thought they were doing the ignorant heathens a big favour. They never asked whether we agreed with them or not. Neither did it occur to them to study our holy books to see whether they got it right or got it all wrong.
Never Read Quran Before but some people assume it is dangerous work of the devil. Fear of the Unknown.
Maybe they were also told not to open or read the Quran because they were told it was work of the devil. How can anyone know unless they checked it out for themselves? Who is ignorant and who is the one that needs saving? May Allah SWT guide and help all mankind.
Why did my parents not bother?
Maybe because we never learnt any special prayers at home. When we followed our families to the temple, we could hear Taoist nuns and the abott chanting. We had no idea what they were mumbling. So much for our religious education.
Sacrifices and Honour
My father went to St. John's Institution, a famous missionary school. He was a bright student but when 2nd world war came to our shores, his life had to change too. All the young men had to go to work to fend for their families. He had to sacrifice continuing higher education.
My uncles had the chances of travelling abroad to study but my father stayed home to care for the extended family. I felt a bit sad for my father as my mother said he used to get 1st place in his exams all the time. Life is full of tests and sacrifices. Nothing good we did would ever be lost. Allah SWT knows all that we think and do. Alhamdulillah.
Be Very Concerned about our Children's Education
Young minds are free and pure. What are we feeding our children's minds? Do we make sure we give them the best and correct input or do we think it is the job of the religious teacher at school? What is she teaching our little children? What is the syllabus all about? Is she even well qualified to handle such an important subject?
Brainwashing and Daily Indoctrination
Everything was so subtle in mission schools and they made it so natural. Did our parents complain about this? Did any Muslim parents voice out their concerns? Many non Muslim parents are not too religious as they may not believe in their general religions. They did not think it to be harmful.
Parents Protect Your Children!
I did not know the difference for we were too young. Parents who send their children to schools of other religions, are you aware of school policies? Who were there to guide and protect the innocent young minds?Do you know what is taught to your children daily, from Primary 1 to Primary 6? From Secondary 1 to Secondary 5?
I was probably 8 or 9, pupil at Marian Convent, Hot Springs, Setapak. I liked my school and Ms Wong was my favourite teacher. I remember the first month in standard one we were instructed to draw all sorts of pictures following the alphabet. I still remembered the large teapot I drew in my large sketch book. Miss Wong liked it very much.
That made a good impression in the mind of a 7 year old child. We liked the subject where the teacher inspired us. They sure knew how to make lessons fun.
On my very first day of school I lost my colour pencils. I thought it only happened to me. Of course it was rather upsetting as I had to tell that to my mom when I got home. It showed I did not appreciate my new possessions . Actually I left it in my desk but the whole box simply disappeared!
Children keep losing things in standard one
When my son was in standard one, it also happened to him. Several times. I then realised children were very carefree and careless. They did not yet know how to take care of their own things. They learnt the hard way. Some also lost their water bottles and their pencil cases. They also did not learn how to respect the rights of others. Children are not too young to learn. They need gentle guidance, just do it in a way they understand.
Lost and Found
My son got so tired of losing his pencils that he resorted to retrieving lost pencils from the class wastepaper basket. I was rather surprised at his resourcefulness. He must have got tired of reporting to his teacher that he lost his pencils again.
Some kids must have been taking pencils , sharpeners and erasers from the desks of other kids and were dumping all the into the bin and around the classroom . Like some sort of game.
Fun in School
Each year we had events where pupils could take part in competitions and sports etc. I was a rather shy kid but somehow decided to take part in a fancy dress competition. Perhaps the idea of dressing up appealed to me.It had a sense of adventure!
My Pretty yet Practical Outfit
I probably could have been quite a practical child. I did not choose a character where I had to find ways to get the correct costume to achieve the look. It would have been difficult to acquire a zebra or hippo costume.
I decided I could wear one of my new frocks which was inspired by nursery rhymes. Mom probably would not have agreed to making a whole new costume just for a child's competition. And no way my father would have agreed to pay for it!
Nursery Rhyme Character?
I wore my new year outfit, a sweet lacy lilac lined flocked nylon frock dress with a removable waist peplum. I thought it was pretty cool and probably the judges were impressed too. It was fun and rather competitive, so much for excitement for the day. :)
I also carried a staff or crook, a lovely carved walking stick that belonged to my grandfather. I was so short and small that the walking stick looked like a long staff. I think a ribbon was tied to it to complete the look. I could have worn a little bonnet, but I cannot remember.
What kind of prize would motivate
a child to improve?
Can you guess which character I was portraying? I won a prize for the effort. In fact, I do not remember what I won. Must be some most forgettable kind of gift. Do not disregard children's opinions and their first impressions. If you want to instill pride and satisfaction in their efforts, give them a worthy reward. It does not have to be monetary. Make it memorable.
Make it Memorable
How about a treat to a picnic at the Bird Park, with a special lunch or a little party with a few friends. A pot luck with their cousins? Just do not be too mediocre all the time. Make an impact if you wish to create childhood memories. My mother did that with us through the years.
Trained to Worship in School
We always took part in concerts and sketches, all held at the school canteen. In fact, almost everything was done in the canteen.That was where the kindly missionary nuns tried to incorporate the daily christian prayers into our daily routine. All of us could memorise and repeat the prayers of Hail Mary and Our Father...We all thought that was what all kids and adults do.
Why be Missionary?
Why did they do that? Probably they had all taken a vow to serve the Creator through Jesus. They were trying to save the heathen souls and bring them to Heaven. They thought they were doing the ignorant heathens a big favour. They never asked whether we agreed with them or not. Neither did it occur to them to study our holy books to see whether they got it right or got it all wrong.
Never Read Quran Before but some people assume it is dangerous work of the devil. Fear of the Unknown.
Maybe they were also told not to open or read the Quran because they were told it was work of the devil. How can anyone know unless they checked it out for themselves? Who is ignorant and who is the one that needs saving? May Allah SWT guide and help all mankind.
Why did my parents not bother?
Maybe because we never learnt any special prayers at home. When we followed our families to the temple, we could hear Taoist nuns and the abott chanting. We had no idea what they were mumbling. So much for our religious education.
Sacrifices and Honour
My father went to St. John's Institution, a famous missionary school. He was a bright student but when 2nd world war came to our shores, his life had to change too. All the young men had to go to work to fend for their families. He had to sacrifice continuing higher education.
My uncles had the chances of travelling abroad to study but my father stayed home to care for the extended family. I felt a bit sad for my father as my mother said he used to get 1st place in his exams all the time. Life is full of tests and sacrifices. Nothing good we did would ever be lost. Allah SWT knows all that we think and do. Alhamdulillah.
Be Very Concerned about our Children's Education
Young minds are free and pure. What are we feeding our children's minds? Do we make sure we give them the best and correct input or do we think it is the job of the religious teacher at school? What is she teaching our little children? What is the syllabus all about? Is she even well qualified to handle such an important subject?
Brainwashing and Daily Indoctrination
Everything was so subtle in mission schools and they made it so natural. Did our parents complain about this? Did any Muslim parents voice out their concerns? Many non Muslim parents are not too religious as they may not believe in their general religions. They did not think it to be harmful.
Parents Protect Your Children!
I did not know the difference for we were too young. Parents who send their children to schools of other religions, are you aware of school policies? Who were there to guide and protect the innocent young minds?Do you know what is taught to your children daily, from Primary 1 to Primary 6? From Secondary 1 to Secondary 5?
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Happy Memories are Made, not Imagined
Playtime with Neighbouring Kids
Fast forward to a time when my brother and I were around 5 and 7 years old. A bit hazy about the actual time but we were still running around the street, playing and screaming shrilly in excitement , playing cops and robbers, hide and seek and bat and ball. We played masak masak, cooking using flowers and leaves in the garden. We found cup shaped leaves where we imagined we were enjoying some tea with friends. Mimicking adults.
Running around like Crazy
One boy was good at making wooden pistols attached with rubberbands and some firing pin. These crude wooden 'guns' shot hard green cherry seeds from the large shady cherry tree by the roadside. We had to run when he started shooting crazily. Smile... so, so childish.. thats who we were, kids.
We lived by the edge of the river and cars could not drive through. It was our urban tarmac playfield, quite pathetic when I think back. But we made do with what we had.
Mooncake Festival
One mooncake festival we decided to have a stage show. We did not know anything about worshipping the moon or other religious rites. Some people would display some candles and make some offerings. To many of us mooncake festival meant getting to eat all the lovely mooncakes and playing with the colourful lanterns. We would have our own collection and we always needed a few extra because they burnt easily.
Lanterns On Fire, Hair on Fire
Once while trying to fit a small candle into the lantern I smelt something strange. Like something burning. It turned out that my hair was singed and nearly caught fire! Alhamdulillah it did not get further than that. Or I would not be typing this now, smiling at my misadventures.
We took all kinds of blankets and tablecloths to make a backdrop. Kids dressed in adult clothes and costumes play acted an opera. Adults sat and watched to humour us. It was fun and made happy childhood memories.
Islam brings us from Darkness into Light
When I discovered Islam and started studying, I advised my mother not to bother about the festival because man had already gone to the moon. We should not bother about any old wife's tales but we could carry on enjoying halal mooncake and biscuits when the shops started selling them. I made some mooncakes once but it was too much work to do it alone. The snow skin mooncakes were easier but due to the high sugar content of the fillings, I did not bother anymore. Really unhealthy to eat mooncakes actually. Such things literally kills us with 'joy'.
I loved my Dolls
Actually I had a whole collection of dolls from UK. How did I ever get such a huge collection? I was a sickly child, always with fever, sore throat, flu etc. Dr. Goonting our family doctor was also known as my 'godfather' . Everytime we had to see him, my father would let me choose a toy from the shop next door to the clinic to help cheer me up. Those days we did not use capsules. Horrid sourish or bitter concoctions were pulverised into powder and packed in little paper sachets. We had to swallow them with water. Eeeaghh!!!!
Pearly my Silent Friend
One of my favourite larger dolls was called Pearly. Made of some kind of porcelain, she was perhaps about 2 feet tall. I vaguely remember Pearly had a lovely gossamer like blue organza dress. Guess people like dolls because they do not talk back. They are always there for us and remain our faithful companions. We are the ones who abandon them eventually.
Better Not to Waste Money
Actually its not a good idea to buy a child fragile toys. They may break easily and that would cause more upsets than joy. And probably too costly to purchase, raising the bar and making the child expect even more the next time. Mmmm...
I would usually choose a doll. I loved to cuddle them and dress them up, feed the babies with their milk bottles and put curlers in their long golden silky hair. Yes, some dolls actually come with a mouth where we can feed it and water actually comes out from behind. The doll can also wear diapers. And that was over 40 years ago.My dolls had long eye lashes and can open and close their eyes. Do not know why I did not give them any names. Only Pearly.
Toys are Educational Too
Toys are important to our emotional development as children. With dolls and teddy bears we learnt how to express our love and affection. If our parents could not keep us company, we were happy to be with our toys, our faithful companions. We learnt how to take care of our possessions and also how to share.
Parents have to guide their children all the times, even in how to play with their toys and possessions. We have to be cautious about the choice of toys, comics, books and movies that we buy for them. We have great responsibility so our kids will not to use their nafs (selfish vain desires) to mishandle their toys and belongings.
Children can Absorb Knowledge like a Sponge
Children are smart and can absorb knowledge like a sponge especially from birth to age of 5 years. They can learn responsibility, cleanliness, tidyness, discipline and orderliness through play. They also need to appreciate their parents' sacrifices and Allah SWT's blessings when they enjoy their toys and books. It is an educational and emotional process for them.
Sibling Rivalry
I was very upset with my younger brother. We never got along much even when we were young. Maybe sibling rivalry. Maybe because I had more toys than him. He should realise that he ought to be grateful that he did not get sick as often as I did. Once he scribbled on the face of my doll and poked her blind with his ball pen. He also cut her hair with a pair of scissors. Butchering her lovely fringe. I was really really upset with him. Long forgiven but I still remember the event.
Playsets and Kitchenette
I had some nice playthings. Teasets, toy ovenette and others that I cannot recollect right now. Lots of story books, comics, wooden blocks, train sets, home made doll house etc. Childhood was a relatively happy time though we had some family issues, just like many other homes.
Hardy Little Kids
Even as a child, I prefer to separate matters so that we could bear our burdens in parts and not as a whole. I learnt pretty fast as a young child. My parents were not communicating too well for years. They tried to protect us and never fought or argued in front of us. We began to think it was a normal kind of life and that everyone else's family was something like that.
Actually we were not too far wrong. Indeed it turned out many friends too faced some complicated issues at home.
I will tell you some stories of my childhood friends and their experiences one day. Some were forced to be like young adults at childhood. They did not have any choice. They had to grow up quickly. I think we were hardy and brave little kids. We just did not understand too much at that time, which was actually a good thing. Alhamdulillah!
Fast forward to a time when my brother and I were around 5 and 7 years old. A bit hazy about the actual time but we were still running around the street, playing and screaming shrilly in excitement , playing cops and robbers, hide and seek and bat and ball. We played masak masak, cooking using flowers and leaves in the garden. We found cup shaped leaves where we imagined we were enjoying some tea with friends. Mimicking adults.
Running around like Crazy
One boy was good at making wooden pistols attached with rubberbands and some firing pin. These crude wooden 'guns' shot hard green cherry seeds from the large shady cherry tree by the roadside. We had to run when he started shooting crazily. Smile... so, so childish.. thats who we were, kids.
We lived by the edge of the river and cars could not drive through. It was our urban tarmac playfield, quite pathetic when I think back. But we made do with what we had.
Mooncake Festival
One mooncake festival we decided to have a stage show. We did not know anything about worshipping the moon or other religious rites. Some people would display some candles and make some offerings. To many of us mooncake festival meant getting to eat all the lovely mooncakes and playing with the colourful lanterns. We would have our own collection and we always needed a few extra because they burnt easily.
Lanterns On Fire, Hair on Fire
Once while trying to fit a small candle into the lantern I smelt something strange. Like something burning. It turned out that my hair was singed and nearly caught fire! Alhamdulillah it did not get further than that. Or I would not be typing this now, smiling at my misadventures.
We took all kinds of blankets and tablecloths to make a backdrop. Kids dressed in adult clothes and costumes play acted an opera. Adults sat and watched to humour us. It was fun and made happy childhood memories.
Islam brings us from Darkness into Light
When I discovered Islam and started studying, I advised my mother not to bother about the festival because man had already gone to the moon. We should not bother about any old wife's tales but we could carry on enjoying halal mooncake and biscuits when the shops started selling them. I made some mooncakes once but it was too much work to do it alone. The snow skin mooncakes were easier but due to the high sugar content of the fillings, I did not bother anymore. Really unhealthy to eat mooncakes actually. Such things literally kills us with 'joy'.
I loved my Dolls
Actually I had a whole collection of dolls from UK. How did I ever get such a huge collection? I was a sickly child, always with fever, sore throat, flu etc. Dr. Goonting our family doctor was also known as my 'godfather' . Everytime we had to see him, my father would let me choose a toy from the shop next door to the clinic to help cheer me up. Those days we did not use capsules. Horrid sourish or bitter concoctions were pulverised into powder and packed in little paper sachets. We had to swallow them with water. Eeeaghh!!!!
Pearly my Silent Friend
One of my favourite larger dolls was called Pearly. Made of some kind of porcelain, she was perhaps about 2 feet tall. I vaguely remember Pearly had a lovely gossamer like blue organza dress. Guess people like dolls because they do not talk back. They are always there for us and remain our faithful companions. We are the ones who abandon them eventually.
Better Not to Waste Money
Actually its not a good idea to buy a child fragile toys. They may break easily and that would cause more upsets than joy. And probably too costly to purchase, raising the bar and making the child expect even more the next time. Mmmm...
I would usually choose a doll. I loved to cuddle them and dress them up, feed the babies with their milk bottles and put curlers in their long golden silky hair. Yes, some dolls actually come with a mouth where we can feed it and water actually comes out from behind. The doll can also wear diapers. And that was over 40 years ago.My dolls had long eye lashes and can open and close their eyes. Do not know why I did not give them any names. Only Pearly.
Toys are Educational Too
Toys are important to our emotional development as children. With dolls and teddy bears we learnt how to express our love and affection. If our parents could not keep us company, we were happy to be with our toys, our faithful companions. We learnt how to take care of our possessions and also how to share.
Parents have to guide their children all the times, even in how to play with their toys and possessions. We have to be cautious about the choice of toys, comics, books and movies that we buy for them. We have great responsibility so our kids will not to use their nafs (selfish vain desires) to mishandle their toys and belongings.
Children can Absorb Knowledge like a Sponge
Children are smart and can absorb knowledge like a sponge especially from birth to age of 5 years. They can learn responsibility, cleanliness, tidyness, discipline and orderliness through play. They also need to appreciate their parents' sacrifices and Allah SWT's blessings when they enjoy their toys and books. It is an educational and emotional process for them.
Sibling Rivalry
I was very upset with my younger brother. We never got along much even when we were young. Maybe sibling rivalry. Maybe because I had more toys than him. He should realise that he ought to be grateful that he did not get sick as often as I did. Once he scribbled on the face of my doll and poked her blind with his ball pen. He also cut her hair with a pair of scissors. Butchering her lovely fringe. I was really really upset with him. Long forgiven but I still remember the event.
Playsets and Kitchenette
I had some nice playthings. Teasets, toy ovenette and others that I cannot recollect right now. Lots of story books, comics, wooden blocks, train sets, home made doll house etc. Childhood was a relatively happy time though we had some family issues, just like many other homes.
Hardy Little Kids
Even as a child, I prefer to separate matters so that we could bear our burdens in parts and not as a whole. I learnt pretty fast as a young child. My parents were not communicating too well for years. They tried to protect us and never fought or argued in front of us. We began to think it was a normal kind of life and that everyone else's family was something like that.
Actually we were not too far wrong. Indeed it turned out many friends too faced some complicated issues at home.
I will tell you some stories of my childhood friends and their experiences one day. Some were forced to be like young adults at childhood. They did not have any choice. They had to grow up quickly. I think we were hardy and brave little kids. We just did not understand too much at that time, which was actually a good thing. Alhamdulillah!
Early Childhood Memories
Happy Childhood Memories
Everyone has some childhood memories. Some said we can remember events that happened from the early tender age of 5. I do not know much of such scientific research but I do remember the times I was in a popular playschool, Yu Der Kindergarden, in Ampang.
The principal of the school was a Shanghainese lady, if I am not mistaken. Sha sen sei /teacher was a mannish kind of woman though she wore a qi pao or cheongsam daily. Large round bright eyes and kindly smile, with neatly combed straight short hair. A bit on the heavy side, she was well loved by everyone. I am amazed that I remember these little details as I type, some things that impacted our lives would always be buried somewhere deep in our minds.
My mother used to accompany me to school. I had a little dark green plastic drawstring bag where every child has to bring daily.
Little Gourmets in the Making
It would be most disappointing if we forgot to bring that to school. That little bag contained our little plate, bowl and cutlery. We looked forward to snack time. I fondly remember the delicious sweet red bean porridge and black pulut or glutinous bubur. I loved the fragrant wheat porridge with thick coconut milk and sugar and kueh lapis or serimuka etc for tea. Guess our eating adventure started very early. No complaints, Alhamdulillah! I also remembered that we were also ordered to take a short nap daily.
Productive Mothers
Mothers would sit outside the classrooms, in a group doing all sorts of beautiful handicraft together.These ladies were so enthusiastic that they would all pursue the latest crafting trends. One day it would be hand embroidery, another day it would be embroidering beaded slippers and another week would be kinitting or crochet. They learned, they shared , laughed and cried together. Women bonding.
She became very good at dressmaking class at Singer's. I was the only girl in the family and I got to wear all the lovely embroidered dresses. I could not even keep up with the amount she churned out all the time.
Early Introduction to Crafty Life
Guess that was when my interest in crafts and clothes started. Always used to see mom creating something lovely.Grew up in a home where people still knew how to use their heart and hands for creating beautiful items for home and family. Today many people only know how to buy, buy, buy without a sense of history and appreciating the arts. What a shame and waste!
I do feel blessed to be able to enjoy lovely clothes, delicious home cooking and a lot of tender loving care under my mom.
Everyone has some childhood memories. Some said we can remember events that happened from the early tender age of 5. I do not know much of such scientific research but I do remember the times I was in a popular playschool, Yu Der Kindergarden, in Ampang.
The principal of the school was a Shanghainese lady, if I am not mistaken. Sha sen sei /teacher was a mannish kind of woman though she wore a qi pao or cheongsam daily. Large round bright eyes and kindly smile, with neatly combed straight short hair. A bit on the heavy side, she was well loved by everyone. I am amazed that I remember these little details as I type, some things that impacted our lives would always be buried somewhere deep in our minds.
My mother used to accompany me to school. I had a little dark green plastic drawstring bag where every child has to bring daily.
Little Gourmets in the Making
It would be most disappointing if we forgot to bring that to school. That little bag contained our little plate, bowl and cutlery. We looked forward to snack time. I fondly remember the delicious sweet red bean porridge and black pulut or glutinous bubur. I loved the fragrant wheat porridge with thick coconut milk and sugar and kueh lapis or serimuka etc for tea. Guess our eating adventure started very early. No complaints, Alhamdulillah! I also remembered that we were also ordered to take a short nap daily.
Productive Mothers
Mothers would sit outside the classrooms, in a group doing all sorts of beautiful handicraft together.These ladies were so enthusiastic that they would all pursue the latest crafting trends. One day it would be hand embroidery, another day it would be embroidering beaded slippers and another week would be kinitting or crochet. They learned, they shared , laughed and cried together. Women bonding.
She became very good at dressmaking class at Singer's. I was the only girl in the family and I got to wear all the lovely embroidered dresses. I could not even keep up with the amount she churned out all the time.
Early Introduction to Crafty Life
Guess that was when my interest in crafts and clothes started. Always used to see mom creating something lovely.Grew up in a home where people still knew how to use their heart and hands for creating beautiful items for home and family. Today many people only know how to buy, buy, buy without a sense of history and appreciating the arts. What a shame and waste!
I do feel blessed to be able to enjoy lovely clothes, delicious home cooking and a lot of tender loving care under my mom.
Life is Wonderful
Wonderful?
When I say wonderful, it does not automatically mean all things happy and beautiful, smooth sailing and all that stuff. So many things happen to us daily, the good , bad and the ugly. Is that not considered wonderful? I often wonder, how did I deserve all the good and fantastic things that happened to me and my friends? Did all that come by chance?
Positive Envy - maybe that is too strong a word
When I see my friends enjoying wealth and having a great time, do I ever get a tinge of envy? Even jealousy? Sure we can feel all this if it is in a positive way. We envy that they are so blessed by Allah and a little jealous because we know they worked hard and they also had been worshipping and doing all sorts of good deeds to please Allah. We want to race with them in doing good deeds and let the envy be a good positive envy. A motivation to try our best to improve ourselves. We do not want to be left behind in our ibadah.
Accepting and being Grateful
It does not mean we too want to have the chance to travel abroad for a family holiday every school term holiday. It does not mean we also want to be able to fly to a distant foreign land to enjoy quality family time.
Family and Friends are more important
We however do want to have the chance to enjoy our family and friends in a happy and peaceful environment. We want to continue our usual routine of being able to attend our classes, our gatherings, having a regular job and income, being healthy and able to have good family relationship with our parents and in laws. We want good loving and pious children.
Needs vs Wants
These are needs and not wants. The wants are the foreign holidays, the luxury cruises and the shopping trips that seem to suit the pockets of the rich and famous. Well, I am neither rich nor famous. Such things do not really interest me too much nor do such thoughts occupy much of my time. Surely I have better and more realistic things to do.
Like catching up with my good books or finally making that fluffy buttermilk pancake recipe that I had been craving to eat. Heh Heh, simple things in life are sometimes best. And within our reach at anytime, insha Allah.
Insha Allah my needs are taken care of and the wants are only icing on the cake. Take it or leave it. Everything is from Allah and He has power of all things.
What Priorities?
It does not mean we do not know how to appreciate the wants. That's why they are called wants. We want, we would really like that but they are not even minor priorities. Non priorities where there are so many urgent things that need to be settled.
Have a Heart
We have not even raised enough funds to send to our suffering brothers and sisters locked in warn torn countries. They are still starving, women and children sharing bread dipped in salt, men shot when they try to leave their homes in search of food and medication. Many children died due to lack of medical and health care. We are so concerned with enjoying worldly pleasures that we have forgotten our brothers and sisters - they are living on the same planet, I have to remind myself.
Be Thankful Always
Allah may not reward us the same way as He rewarded our friends. He know better how to dish it out to us in a way that benefits us personally. I am sometimes envious, but with pride and happiness for our friends' success and achievements. We are thankful to Allah that He loves our friends and we hope He will also love us too.
When I say wonderful, it does not automatically mean all things happy and beautiful, smooth sailing and all that stuff. So many things happen to us daily, the good , bad and the ugly. Is that not considered wonderful? I often wonder, how did I deserve all the good and fantastic things that happened to me and my friends? Did all that come by chance?
Positive Envy - maybe that is too strong a word
When I see my friends enjoying wealth and having a great time, do I ever get a tinge of envy? Even jealousy? Sure we can feel all this if it is in a positive way. We envy that they are so blessed by Allah and a little jealous because we know they worked hard and they also had been worshipping and doing all sorts of good deeds to please Allah. We want to race with them in doing good deeds and let the envy be a good positive envy. A motivation to try our best to improve ourselves. We do not want to be left behind in our ibadah.
Accepting and being Grateful
It does not mean we too want to have the chance to travel abroad for a family holiday every school term holiday. It does not mean we also want to be able to fly to a distant foreign land to enjoy quality family time.
Family and Friends are more important
We however do want to have the chance to enjoy our family and friends in a happy and peaceful environment. We want to continue our usual routine of being able to attend our classes, our gatherings, having a regular job and income, being healthy and able to have good family relationship with our parents and in laws. We want good loving and pious children.
Needs vs Wants
These are needs and not wants. The wants are the foreign holidays, the luxury cruises and the shopping trips that seem to suit the pockets of the rich and famous. Well, I am neither rich nor famous. Such things do not really interest me too much nor do such thoughts occupy much of my time. Surely I have better and more realistic things to do.
Like catching up with my good books or finally making that fluffy buttermilk pancake recipe that I had been craving to eat. Heh Heh, simple things in life are sometimes best. And within our reach at anytime, insha Allah.
Insha Allah my needs are taken care of and the wants are only icing on the cake. Take it or leave it. Everything is from Allah and He has power of all things.
What Priorities?
It does not mean we do not know how to appreciate the wants. That's why they are called wants. We want, we would really like that but they are not even minor priorities. Non priorities where there are so many urgent things that need to be settled.
Have a Heart
We have not even raised enough funds to send to our suffering brothers and sisters locked in warn torn countries. They are still starving, women and children sharing bread dipped in salt, men shot when they try to leave their homes in search of food and medication. Many children died due to lack of medical and health care. We are so concerned with enjoying worldly pleasures that we have forgotten our brothers and sisters - they are living on the same planet, I have to remind myself.
Be Thankful Always
Allah may not reward us the same way as He rewarded our friends. He know better how to dish it out to us in a way that benefits us personally. I am sometimes envious, but with pride and happiness for our friends' success and achievements. We are thankful to Allah that He loves our friends and we hope He will also love us too.
Everyone can be a storyteller
A New Day, A New Story
Every day is a new page, a new story. People create stories of their lives daily. Do they ever stop to think what story they have created? Do they ever feel their stories worth reflecting, sharing?
We all have different stories
We all have different experiences, different ways of looking at things. Even twins. Their parents may dress them in identical clothes and feed them the same food, they go to the same class and study the same things. Would they have different lives? Do they see things the same way? Would their stories be the same?
Allah is so Generous
Everything is as Allah SWT wills. He can make us all live differently. He may give us the same planet, the same neighbourhood. Yet He gives his willing slaves much more than He gives to those who reject faith.
Allah is Kind to Everyone
People work hard, they struggle to achieve their ambitions. Allah answers their pleas for help and mercy. Even idolaters and sinners, they still receive Allah's bounties and mercies. Only in this lifetime.
Greatest Mercy
His Greatest Mercy is reserved only for true believers. His humble slaves, who sometimes lose their way in the journey of life.
Those who believed in Him and tried their best to submit, within their own capabilities. If it were based on our piety and good deeds, none of us would deserve to enter Jannah/Paradise. It is only through Allah's Mercy and Compassion. Allah is ArRahman and ArRahim. The Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful.
Anyone can be Muslim
Anyone can choose to believe. Anyone can be a winner - if he wants. Yet many disbelieve, they will be the losers on the Day of Judgement. May Allah keep us strong and keep us on the straight path. Amiin.
Allah gives us the Right to Choose
In the end people eventually get what they wanted. How they lived their lives would determine what they will get later on. Allah is fair. He let us choose. No compulsion in religion.
One Way Journey
Once we have chosen, that is a contract to consciously submit to His will. We could have turned away but if we choose to enter as a willing slave, the choice ends there. We have to try our best to accept, to follow, to embrace. To submit wholeheartedly, even though the going gets tough sometimes. It happens.
Struggling to keep to the straight path
Often. Yet we keep on trying. We fail, we rise, we walk, we fall, we pick ourselves up.... life is like that. Just trying to learn, to share, to improve... one day at a time.
Every day is a new page, a new story. People create stories of their lives daily. Do they ever stop to think what story they have created? Do they ever feel their stories worth reflecting, sharing?
We all have different stories
We all have different experiences, different ways of looking at things. Even twins. Their parents may dress them in identical clothes and feed them the same food, they go to the same class and study the same things. Would they have different lives? Do they see things the same way? Would their stories be the same?
Allah is so Generous
Everything is as Allah SWT wills. He can make us all live differently. He may give us the same planet, the same neighbourhood. Yet He gives his willing slaves much more than He gives to those who reject faith.
Allah is Kind to Everyone
People work hard, they struggle to achieve their ambitions. Allah answers their pleas for help and mercy. Even idolaters and sinners, they still receive Allah's bounties and mercies. Only in this lifetime.
Greatest Mercy
His Greatest Mercy is reserved only for true believers. His humble slaves, who sometimes lose their way in the journey of life.
Those who believed in Him and tried their best to submit, within their own capabilities. If it were based on our piety and good deeds, none of us would deserve to enter Jannah/Paradise. It is only through Allah's Mercy and Compassion. Allah is ArRahman and ArRahim. The Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful.
Anyone can be Muslim
Anyone can choose to believe. Anyone can be a winner - if he wants. Yet many disbelieve, they will be the losers on the Day of Judgement. May Allah keep us strong and keep us on the straight path. Amiin.
Allah gives us the Right to Choose
In the end people eventually get what they wanted. How they lived their lives would determine what they will get later on. Allah is fair. He let us choose. No compulsion in religion.
One Way Journey
Once we have chosen, that is a contract to consciously submit to His will. We could have turned away but if we choose to enter as a willing slave, the choice ends there. We have to try our best to accept, to follow, to embrace. To submit wholeheartedly, even though the going gets tough sometimes. It happens.
Struggling to keep to the straight path
Often. Yet we keep on trying. We fail, we rise, we walk, we fall, we pick ourselves up.... life is like that. Just trying to learn, to share, to improve... one day at a time.
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