My Dear Aunt
My mother had a very close friend and confidante, we call her Ah Kam, meaning aunt who is married to her foster brother, Jimmy Loh. Her name is Kueen.
So Difficult to Break Bad News
Ever since I had to break the sad news that my mom had already passed away a month before she was told, she was very stressed about the welfare of the rest of us. She kept saying, I do not have anyone to care much for me now. Do not lose contact, tell me what is happening to all of you.
She wanted us to inform her if there was anything wrong, she wanted to visit and to see my father. She was really upset she could not see my mom just one time. How could I add to her sadness to tell her mom was suffering too much and we ourselves were too devasted to do enough . Once we admitted her into the hospital, we are unable to control the flow of events. Allah knows best.
Difficult Decision
It was indeed a very difficult decision to send a loved one to hospital as we know it will all be about drugs, rules and regulations and sometimes human trial and error. Yet if we choose to keep them at home, how educated or skillful are we to know how to take care of a seriously ill person? Can we take that great responsibility? Its indeed painful to send my parents to the hospital during emergency.
Keep me informed, she pleaded
I still remember her words. She wanted to be informed but we could not do that. When my father passed away suddenly, just hours after he fell, I could not bear to be the bearer of sad news again. This time we had to go all the way to her house in Cheras, almost at the Kajang border. When I broke the news to her, she was of course very upset.
Allah is Merciful
We consoled her and said it happened so quickly. We were thankful he did not lie suffering in bed for years, with a broken back or fractured ribs. Allah SWT is most Merciful. My father was returned to Allah very swiftly, with a minimum of prolonged suffering.
Of course I did not tell her how he fell, on his head, fracturing it and blood was visible on the cold terrazo floor. He was unable to speak words of farewell, but Allah knows best. It sounded like his throat was blocked by the blood but we did not know what do do. He could not respond. There was no choice but to call the ambulance.
Hard to Say Farewell
Maybe it would be just too emotional and painful for the final parting. No matter how we leave this worldly life, there will be blessing when we redha (accept with patience and even be pleased with the decision).
We are so very minute in the universe yet we are often arrogant and reckless
What do we really know, we are just little bits of dust that float in one tiny universe of universes. Allahu Akbar. We are sometimes so self centered that we think of nothing but ourselves, our needs, our feelings and our opinions. We forgot to be grateful or humble. May Allah forgive us.
Aunt is making the effort, not us
Anyway, Ah Kam continued to call us on the phone every now and then, when she did not hear from us. That is my weakness, I do not like call people on the phone unless its work or some ngo activity. I actually prefer do spend the day doing what I have to do without too much social interaction.
Perhaps its my way of saving my sanity from too much information overload. I get a barrage of sms and calls on a regular basis from people who want information, assistance and worst of all , money! That is something I just do not have enough to pass around. I feel sorry for some genuine cases and they really deserve support and attention.
Bad Phone!
Few months ago I lost her phone number as my phone was automatically deleting vital contacts as fast as I could add them on again. Its my 3rd phone in one year so I was really reluctant to replace it. I tried a hardy phone, a cheaper one, a more costly one, different makes, they all still behaved really badly. So I am still going around with a phone with a bad attitude.
Why No Sound from Aunt Kueen?
Over 3 months must have passed and I only received one call from Ah Kam. It did not occur to me to check her number because I assumed her number was still registered in the phone. When we tried to call her before Chinese New Year, we could not get her. She too did not call. I began to miss her calls.
My turn to wonder is Ah Kam dead or alive?
We had neglected her due to our own work and personal problems. I also had to save some cash to give her every time we visited her. Nothing much but a few hundred ringgit every few months may help her buy some little luxuries or food she enjoyed. Her children provides her with food and a helper so she had the basic necessities.
Maintaining Ties of Kinship
In Islam we are supposed to continue the friendship and good relationship of our parents with their close friends or relatives. Ah Kam is now our responsibility. Last week we decided to visit her wind, rain or shine. I was getting worried and began to feel guilty for neglecting her.
I was hoping she would still be sitting, alive and well, in her gloomy dark hall when the car pulled up to the front of her gate.
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