My long lost relatives
Actually I may still have a few elderly relatives from my father's side whom I have lost track. Some children of my grand aunt, i.e. my late grandpa's brother's children, their children and their children.
Cousin May
Its quite a shame, really because though we all got along well enough, we did not love each well enough to keep in touch. My cousin May is around my own age. The last time I heard of her was she got married and settled in Hong Kong. Also heard she spent her days with the other tai tais (married ladies of leisure) playing mahjong. If I am not mistaken, I also heard she asked for a divorce later on. She could have a brother, I do not even remember, what a poor relative I am.
Courageous Defender of the People
Her father, my father's cousin was a policeman during the communist insurgency. People used to sleep comfortably in bed while the police and soldiers defended the country.
He was a tough and brave officer, stationed in the communist infested areas of Bentong, if I am not mistaken. The enemies all knew about him, nicknamed Chili Padi. They did not fool around with him. He was one agressive and brave fighter.
My mom said he was a very playful young man, always playing traunt but would burn the midnight oil before his exams. And he would excel in his exams.
All the vices
My uncle was a very terrible gambler. Once he mentioned he went to Genting for a gambling session. He took a metal box full of cash with him. He was the type who would follow his nafs (vain desires) and throw caution to the winds. A very controversial guy.
Once he said a driver was speeding recklessly near Federal House near Bukit Aman, the police headquarters. This man threatened my uncle on the road, probably for slowing him down and tried to assault him. Uncle Y W got so fed up with him that he took out his gun and aimed it at him. The bully panicked and took off very quickly, just like a frightened rabbit.
My grandma said my uncle was such a sweet talker that he could a talk a bird to sit in his hand. That's how persuasive he could be.
Marriage Breakdown affect family for life
My uncle was afraid of no one, being raised by my grandparents as he had a very irresponsible father. I do not remember ever having met granduncle before. He was probably outcast.
1st Part Time Job
Sweetie Danker and I worked in an ngo, sending appeal letters to people in the telephone directory, asking them to donate for charity to support the Association for the Prevention of Tuberculosis. Many people were still affected by this life threatening disease. TB is making a comeback to this part of the world lately, its curable if discovered early.
It was a happy place and my first job before I continued my studies. It was a very nice and peaceful place to work. Small wonder, since my grandfather was the Secretary General there and I got chauffeur driven everyday to work and back. The pay was not much but I learnt how to work with others and enjoyed my new responsibilities.
My grandfather a very active man
My grandfather was a very active man, even in his 70s. He had his own insurance agency and was also on the Board of School Governors in some school I was too young to be bothered to notice.
We always received VIP treatment whenever we went out with my grandparents. Dato' Ng my grandpa was also an active Rotary member and as on the board of the National Social Welfare Department and Pure Life Society. I was fascinated with the way he lived his life, serving in so many ngos and also his own work successfully.
Those Were The Days...
Those were the days long gone. Gone yes, but not forgotten. What we have after we lived our lives is only a treasury of memories. Some so very sweet like the heavenly taste of honey. Some memories so absolutely bitter till it hurts so bad and some just bitter sweet, enough flavour for us to take a few lessons from them. The impact strong enough to still motivate us to improve our lives, to learn who to trust and who to let go, even if they were our dearest friends before.
Learning from History
I had lost many opportunities to learn about family history from my grandparents and even my own parents though I remember some stories . Maybe some were very sad stories, I had no desire to know more. Yet my mother would repeat them, maybe to use them as lessons to guide her children. Or maybe to purge all the bitter and dark memories of her youth.
Follies of Youth
Some were events beyond her control, some were human weaknesses, like being impatient or intolerance of other people's weaknesses. Intolerance is two way. Its a struggle that may take years to overcome. Islam encourages us to be patient, to be tolerant, to be humble, think good, to be generous and most of all, to tawakkal to Allah. ( make effort, trust and leave the rest to Allah).
Life is full of stories, both happy and sad
My mother had an interesting life. She also shared the happy memories of youth. Its such a complex time, to be happy and sad at the same time. I guess it does happen to many people. Unhappy events would be pushed far back into the deep recesses of the mind, hoping to be forgotten, trying to forgive and trying to heal through time.
Allah Heals us with Time
Allah SWT is Kind, He heals us bit by bit, sometimes as much as we desire. We some times hold the key but when we had the chance to turn the key and open the lock to escape from our sadness or misery, we hold back. Is fear of the unknown? There is nothing to lose if what we want to do is something permitted by Allah SWT. We have to trust in Allah and free ourselves to live again.
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